don't blog that!

I often enjoy biking in the afternoons as a way to get my daily recommended amount of exercise, and also as a way to explore my town more and learn my way around.  Often during my rides, people will wave at me, or say “Hi!,” or if they happen to know me they’ll combine the two and wave while saying “Hey Chris!!”

This story, though, involves a driver who doesn’t fall into either of those categories.  Here’s the scene:

Chris, as himself.
Other guy, as mean person.
Pickup truck, as itself.

Setting: Chris is biking on the sidewalk past the Hess gas station, minding his own business.  Truck, with mean person inside, attempting to pull out of Hess.  Road full of cars in both directions.

Chris continues to bike down the sidewalk, passing in front of the aforementioned truck.  As he is directly in front, the driver of the vehicle exclaims something into the wind.  Straining his ears, he is able to make out the following: “You fag, get a real bike!”

Chris, continuing on, looks back and is highly insulted.  Clever (and no so clever) insults run through his head, including the ever amusing “Hey man, your truck sucks.  Why?  Because you touch yourself at night.”

Some sense of decency and restraint (and realization of the stupidy of any reaction) hold his tongue, and he continues on his merry way.

The truck pulls out, heads into traffic, and is later involved in a twenty car pileup on 495 later in the evening.  Karma’s a bitch, sometimes.

Anyways, I’m not sure I would have wanted a “real” bike, even if I had agreed with his point.  It would kinda ruin the point of my rides.

Now, for the continuation — I was planning on making an entry about this earlier in the week, but I… didn’t.

I’m sure everyone here has seen those “Motorcycles are Everywhere” signs warning drivers to keep a lookout for their two-wheeled motorized compatriots.  What isn’t directly specified, but is assumed by what seems to be all motorcycle riders, is that the “everywhere” is literal.

Actually, “all” is the wrong word.  Really, most riders I’ve seen follow traffic rules and act, basically, like a car that has had a tragic accident and is driving with only the left half remaining.  And, well, a working motor.  And the ability to steer.  And, well… maybe this is a bad analogy.

Anyways… My recent experiences have not been with these sort of drivers.  Rather, these riders decide that because their cycle can physically fit down the line between two lanes of cars, they should really use that to cut ahead to take a left turn once this long red light changes.  Ingenious!  Or, deciding that the space between the car and front of them and the car next to them (*cough ME cough*) is perfect to slide through and turn onto 495! Great idea!

As a possible means to alleviate this surge of stupidity that some riders have, I suggest an updated version of the classic motorcycle sign: